15 babies are stillborn or die soon after birth in the UK every day and it is a devastating, life changing event. We set up Abbie’s Fund after our daughter, Abbie, was born sleeping at 38 weeks gestation in October 2010 to raise money to provide memory boxes for families who have also lost babies. Through the process of putting together our own memory box for Abbie in the days and weeks following her death we have developed beautiful memory boxes that are given to parents at the start of this journey.
So why is a memory box important? When your baby dies you get to spend such a limited amount of time with them before you have to say your final goodbyes, we don’t get to take our babies home. We are ‘lucky’ if we are able to spend 24 – 48 hours with them and then that’s it. So making as many memories in those precious hours is vital and that’s why we supply our memory boxes to help parents make those ever so important memories with the content we supply in our boxes. They are not just ‘a box’, they become treasured possessions. They are there when we need to feel close to our babies, touch the outfit or the nappy they wore, smell the blanket they were wrapped in, cuddle the teddy which is identical to the one they were buried with. Because that’s all we have. They help parents to feel that they are not alone. They help parents feel supported. Just one of the many, many messages I have received from a bereaved mummy said ‘Thank you so much for our beautiful memory box, it is THE most beautiful gift I have ever received. Without it I would never have made all the memories I now have of my daughter and for that I am eternally grateful’.
What other support do we provide?
Alongside our memory boxes we work closely with our local hospital and help support bereavement services in a number of ways. For the second year running we are financially supporting the salary of our local Bereavement Midwife. Last year we financed the refurbishment of 2 counselling rooms on the Antenatal Unit and this year the refurbishment of 2 parents bedrooms on NICU. We are in the process of organising specialist ‘Memory Making’ study days for local midwifery/nursing staff and are working with the Paediatric Team to develop memory boxes for older children. Last year we also introduced our Sibling memory Boxes for children who have lost a sibling. We also help provide equipment used in bereavement care such as digital cameras, memory cards etc.
So that is why we do what we do, why we work so hard to support other families in Abbie’s memory. She may have come silently into this world but her little life has spoken volumes and we are incredibly proud of all she has helped us achieve.
Lots more information can be found at www.abbiesfund.co.uk
